They’re all happy we’re home. Penelope the cat was particularly angry at being boarded, but after a few scratches to make sure I never leave the house again, she’s back to trying to take over the dog bed.
Stay safe out there, readers.
-JB Swift
…sigh
Welp, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t some some kind of hand injury every four months or so. Normally, they’re so small that I don’t even notice until a couple days afterward.
And sometimes, I almost lose a finger.
As soon as we got home, we realized that we had a massive weather change ahead of us. We went from Florida’s 75-80 degrees Fahrenheit (23-26 degrees Celsius) to Louisiana’s 24-32 (-4 to 0), and the house doesn’t have central heat. That means we need a fire, and a fire needs kindling.
Only I forgot to make the kindling before we left, so I was in the carport with the kindling knife and block of sap-filled wood, shivering and chastising myself for not being prepared.
That kindling knife is my Cutco utility knife, and you get what you pay for when you shell out almost $200 for a blade. The thing can cut through steel, and I’m normally very paranoid when using it. When I set it into the kindling block, I had my other hand in (what I thought) a safe area far enough away to avoid injury.
Alas…the blade is nearly 6 inches (15 centimeters) long, and when it cuts into a soft pocket of sap, it goes straight through. The same also applies to fingers.
Shunk, went the blade, and I knew I was in trouble. After cleaning the blade and securing everything, I left a small blood trail as I staggered into the house in the late hours to patch myself up. But as you can see from the scars, this isn’t my first rodeo with first aid. Got it put back together, pressure on the wound, and sealed it. Took pain medication for the night and scheduled a stop with the doctor in the morning.
I’m looking forward to the looks of consternation I’ll getting from the family as they wake up to see my hand bloodied and bandaged (again). And they wonder why I have ‘chainmail gloves’ on my Wish List.
Good night, readers. Stay safe out there.
-JB Swift
And with the mad shuffle that is getting two kids below the age of 10 into “travel mode”, we’ve shambled into the shuttle and headed away from Disney.
The kids are exhausted and napping as we travel, and we won’t be settled back in our home and regular lives until tomorrow. But there’ll be long stretches of quiet throughout the next day, and I’ll be taking full advantage of this.
I did manage to get a few pages written in the wee hours throughout the week, though I’ll admit that being around so many hundreds of people all week had killed my gumption to the point that, when I went to the designated smoking section, I went one step further and hid in a little corner of the smoking area.
Crowds, man. Oof, the crowds.
But the family loved their time at Disney, and they won’t forget it any time soon. That’s what matters.
Welp, back to traveling and note-taking. Stay safe out there, readers!
-JB Swift
For our final day at Disney, we went to the park closest to our resort, met up with local family, and “wandered around the world”, as the tour guides kept saying.
Personal note: I didn’t see anything for Ireland, so I was annoyed. But they tried with their United Kingdom area, which I’m not sure was laudable or another source of irritation.
The kids had a very full day, and went on as many rides as they possibly could. I did catch a few quiet moments, though.
It was also a full day of meals, and while they were good meals, I don’t think they were worth the amounts we were paying. After the dinner in “Germany” (finally got a decent beer and impressed my cousin-in-law with the smatterings of German I knew to make the order), we made it to two final rides before we called it a night.
Han had waited all day for the Frozen ride, and it wasn’t until we were wandering through “Norway” that we all realized we were just in time for the ride.
It was fun, though the kids weren’t ready for the small splash that dumped a bit of water on them. To keep them calm, we went to one of the “Mexico” rides.
We had to call it an early night, though, and get our bags ready for the chaos that is “We’re ready to get home”.
Stay safe out there, readers! I’ll be going through the pictures and curating them for here when I get the chance
-JB Swift
It’s godawful late, and I’m typing at the tail end of my own energy, but I have to say that it had been a good day.
We went to the Magic Kingdom today, and the kids said it was their best day ever.
That’s a victory I’m not conceding, ever.
It took the majority of the day, and I had pushed myself to the point of low blood sugar (thus resulting in a mandatory fish and chips plate) and being separated from the family for 30 minutes, but the kids met Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Tiana.
Note: I got to meet Merida while walking Ben around. We had a chat about the different kind of bows and how recurves were the best. Good times.
Also, and a purely selfish note: I met Winnie the Pooh!
Before we could head back to our room, however, we had to stay for the nighttime fireworks display.
Once we got back, the kids were asleep in under 30 minutes, and I’m not far behind them. Tomorrow is Epcot, and the traveling nerd part of me will be having too fun.
Also: Epcot has beer.
Stay safe out there, readers.
-JB Swift
I’m glad the kids grew up with travelers for parents. They asked all the right questions, at least until we reached Pandora.
We spent the day in the park that was basically one big zoo. As tired as this made us, I’m glad we went out here for the day. They saw zebras, tigers, and silverback gorillas.
And I might have gone a bit camera-crazy.
We ended our stay at this park in Pandora, or as I like to say: “James Cameron’s Sci-Fi Take on Pocahontas”. The settings were downright gorgeous for this storyteller.
Sarah’s planning for visits paid off in one of the best ways I could’ve ever hoped for: the kids met Mickey Mouse.
Seeing the kids be starstruck and in such awe. I’m both happy for them and proud of Sarah’s meticulous scheduling. I wouldn’t have thought of this.
Now that everyone is asleep, I’m doing my late-night wanderings and trying to catch up on my writing. I’m exhausted, so I don’t expect much before it’s time for bed again. Tomorrow, we go to the Magic Kingdom, and we meet Princesses.
Han’s said she wants to ask Mulan if she could spar with me, the Kung Fu Dad. I’m slightly terrified, as Mulan would most likely kick my ass. But hey, you do what you need to for the happiness of your children.
Stay safe out there, readers.
-JB Swift
It’s late in the evening, and everyone is asleep. I’ve gone out walking in the wee hours, thanks to my biphasic sleep pattern, and found a little corner of our resort that is set aside for smokers.
I actually found this spot earlier, and I have to admit that it’s a creepy little corner behind the laundromat but next to the pools. I was actually chastised by a mother with her kids while I stood there, smoking my pipe. She said her kids shouldn’t have to deal with my smoke. I responded with a question as to why she’s allowing her children to wander into a set-aside corner of the resort that, even for this little weirdo, is uncomfortable and horror-movie-set-feeling.
She didn’t have an answer to the question, so I claim my petty victory.
But man, did our kids have fun.
I’m adhering to the rule of Disney Magic: to the kids, this is real. From building a lightsaber to flying a ship to meeting Chewbacca, I did my best to treat it as if we were in that universe.
My loyalty to the Expanded Universe (called Legends, now) left me with a bittersweet expression, but it was good to see that universe put into a setting that the kids could interact with. They don’t have the books, yet, so this is their medium to learn about Star Wars.
What made it seem real for them was Chewbacca walking nearby and trying to talk to them. I grew up with the Wookiee, so when he came up, I said in a very nonchalant manner, “Hey Chewie, how’s Lumpawaroo doing?”
So help me, that Wookiee responded in Shryiiwook. I had a small conversation with Chewie, and after the kids hid behind us as he tried talking to them, he gripped my shoulder like an old acquaintance and grunted at me. I just said “Thanks, Chewie,” and he left. Now the kids think I’ve talked to the Wookiee before and I can understand him. That’s a cool moment, let me tell you.
Beyond that, I got one of the best burns from the kids. They asked, as we were making ready for the Smuggler’s Run ride, if I could be the pilot. I answered that I could fly any starship. So of course, one of my turns collided with a transport that put us on the ground. My daughter said, matter of factly, “Dad, you might can fly, but you sure can’t land.”
Nice, kid. Very nice.
So now, I’m sitting outside and waiting for this damn eardrum to finally pop. It’s a slow pain that’ll probably stay until we finally board the plane home, thus resetting the thing.
But hey, today was a lot of fun. Maybe I can write some.
Stay safe out there, readers.
-JB Swift
Readers! I’m getting on the plane!
I avoid flying as much as possible. Not for a fear of flying, but because my ears never fully pop when the air pressure changes. That’s a whole different kind of pain.
Soon, we’ll be in Florida, and the kids will be experiencing their first time at Disney. It’ll also be over 20 years since I’ve been there, so I’m expecting new experiences for myself.
Stay safe out there, readers! Time to fly.
-JB Swift
We’ve begun the first leg of our journey to Disney!
This means we’re in the car, heading for New Orleans, as it’s stupidly expensive to use our towns’ airport as the jumping-off point. There’s a hotel waiting for us down there and we fly in the morning.
This morning, however, was an adventure of getting my cats, who are adorable but very dumb, into their travel cases to go to the boarder. Penelope, the smallest and dumbest, went outside instead of her case. This resulted in four hours of trying to trap a cat who really shouldn’t be outside, eventually getting frustrated and going onto the back porch as she tries to leap off my outdoor work table, catching her in mid-flight, and fighting her all the way to her travel case.
I have a couple new scars but she’s now safe and being pampered by the boarders, along with the other animals.
Now that we’re on the way, I’m also taking the opportunity to go back to my old stomping ground of reading!
Haven’t read this one in decades, and I’m enjoying it way too much. I’m going to incorporate a few things from it into my campaign, I promise.
What, precisely, I won’t say, as the players also read these. Trust me, y’all will enjoy it!
Stay safe out there, readers! I’ll write again before we board the plane!
-JB Swift
My children have discovered Sherlock Holmes and are keen for stories based in Victorian London. They saw “Enola Holmes” in the queue and just had to see both movies. I approve.
I have to admit that I am immensely pleased by this. As a story setting, that time is very interesting and almost alien to this upcoming generation. There’s a mystique to the setting for them, as we talk about horse-drawn carriages and the yellow fog of the Industrial Revolution.
Also, as a Union member and former steward, any moment I can show these kids what it means to fight for your rights as a workforce is one I cherish. The late 1800’s were a time of social upheavals and the precursor to even more, and greater, moments of the same.
Study your histories, readers. Great things were done for us to think of commonplace concepts like equality in the modern era, voting rights, safe working environments, and the right to a fair day’s wage for a fair day’s work, which did not exist all that long ago, in the grand scheme of things.
Of course, once they go to bed, I’m left with wanting to enjoy more of that setting on my own. While I could rewatch the films or take down one of my books set in that time period, I thought I should indulge myself and play a video game.
I know, shocking. I actually let myself be entertained by a game for once.
I’m going to stay up for a while and wander around “Syndicate”. The designers are masters of crafting the scenery, and there’ll be moments I’ll just sit on a bench somewhere in London and watch the crowds.
That may sound boring, and for some it is, but trust me, it’s interesting!
Stay safe out there, readers!
-JB Swift
Swift's Corner 